I can’t speak for everyone, but in my experience adult friendships are incredibly different than childhood friendships. They have to withstand not only changes in life, but busy schedules. I have always opted for a few close friends instead of a crowd of friends. I am also an incredibly low-maintenance friend (in my opinion). I am fortunate to have a friendship that, although we see each other once every couple of months, we stay very close. When something happens, she is one of the first people I want to tell. But I don’t feel like we need to talk daily or weekly to continue our friendship. We know that we love each other and we are there for the other person if they need to talk, but respect that we both have our own busy lives.
I am horrible at keeping contact with people. Whenever someone says “stay in touch” I always briefly feel guilty because I know I won’t. I know, that sounds horrible, but it’s true. My grandma is the kind of person who remembers everyone’s anniversaries and has dozens of pen-pals. She will stop any service member that she meets to thank them and starts a conversation with anyone and everyone she comes across. She is seriously one of the kindest humans on earth, but I didn’t inherit her personality. I’m an introvert at heart.
We are both married now, so our hangouts have gone from the two of us going out to the four of us staying in. We take turns traveling to each other’s house (we live about forty minutes apart) and cooking dinner, watching movies, playing games, and joking around. I was friends with her husband before they got together, my friend and I became close, and now our husbands are friends (they actually know each other from elementary school). We let each other have space, but also support the other’s decisions and growth.
When you’re an adult, you have so much more on your plate. Full-time jobs, marriage, hobbies, possibly children, college, and all other responsibilities can hold your time for hostage. Friendships can either flourish or wither away with the stress. Build relationships that can withstand time.
How have your friendships changed as you’ve grown and aged?
Have your high school friendships adapted or have you built new relationships over the years?
I’d love to hear about it.